Friday, March 24, 2006

[Under Construction]

After a brief hiatus, I am returning to back to my normal post, I am currently working on redesigning this Blog to match my MYSPACE profile. Yea, I said MYSPACE, I too have been bitten by this atrocious internet bug. I never payed much attention to myspace before. Its ugly GUI, and users ghastly attempts to skin, or create templates for the profiles, always turned me away. It is just plain out ugly. It wasn't until, reading a blog, that I found out it was possible to cover up, myspace's ui, and create a div overlay, and use css to refine and create your own personal look. I was immediately intrigued. No longer bound by mypsace's graphical limitatios, I was able to do what I want, when I want, and best of all. Make it how I wanted it to look. Absolutely wonderful, only one problem, I didn't know CSS and I only knew a handful of HTML codes. So I turned to the greatest resource available to me www.GOOGLE.com. I'm not a huge fan of google, due to the numerous amounts of ADSENSE trash that litters the net. But, I hate yahoo, more. So... I pointed it int the direction of CSS tutorials, and started my descent into the unknown realm of CSS. Surprisingly, it wasn't to hard to understand, the basics. So here I am, working on this blog, and my NEW MYSPACE profile. In time.everything will come to look more and more appealing to the eye.
Smiles Deviant @ 6:08 PM ..0 comments
Thursday, March 16, 2006

Deviant @ 6:38 AM ..0 comments
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Deviant @ 10:14 PM ..0 comments
Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Blog Skin

Ehrm... well I submitted, my current Blogger Template, to blogskins.com & blogflux.com
I'm gonna work on more later today. This one is a bit small for me, but maybe perfect for some. Deviant @ 1:06 PM ..0 comments

Apathy Template

Blogger Template Design #2 Deviant @ 5:37 AM ..0 comments

Creative Junction Template

My first attempt at a web template. This one is very simple, and makes it very easy for users to make their own.

Deviant @ 1:19 AM ..0 comments
Thursday, February 16, 2006

Weezer - Perfect Situation

Every now and then, you find a song that verbalizes your current mood. Maybe not every word. Sometimes its just one verse. Well I listen to music almost non-stop. :) So I'm always running into a song that displays my current mood. I'm sure I'm not the only one... Weezer has a vibe about them. When I listen to some of there songs, there is a certain emoion to it. As if they knew exactly what I was thinking, and sing it in a way, I could never say it. I change a few words hear and there to suit my needs, but there is nothing wrong with that. Is there? hehe. Anyway. Here's the Lyrics:

• What's the deal with my brain?
  Why am I so obviously insane?
  In a perfect situation
  I let love down the drain.
  There's the pitch, slow and straight.
  All I have to do is swing
  and I'm the hero, but I'm the zero.
  
  Hungry nights, once again
  Now it's getting unbelievable.
  'Cause I could not have it better,
  But I just can't get no play
  From the girls, all around
  As they search the night for someone to hold onto.
  I just pass through...
  
  singing...
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  Singing...
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  
  Get your hands off the girl,
  Can't you see that she belongs to me?
  And I don't appreciate this excess company.
  Though I can't satisfy all the needs she has
  And so she starts to wander...
  Can you blame her?
  
  singing...
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  Singing...
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  
  Tell me there's a logic out there.
  Leading me to better prepare
  For the day that something really special might come.
  Tell me there's some hope for me.
  I don't wanna be lonely
  For the rest of my days on the earth.
  
  [solo]
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  Singing...
  Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhh oh. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
  Singing...
  Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Deviant @ 10:24 PM ..0 comments
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Luc Besson: Who is he?

Luc Besson? He directed 2 of my favorite movies. Léon (The Professional) and La Femme Nikita. Both movies deal with assasins. Both also have Jean Reno in them, one of my favorite actors. Both movies are wonderfully scripted, and the actors cast for the part, do an excellent job in their roles. Many people remember the scene in Léon, when a young Natalie Portman, knocks on Leon's door after her family is murdered. Begging for him to open the door. CLASSIC! And La Femme Nikita (1990), was Remade in 1993, for the American public. It was called Point of No Return and starred Bridget Fonda. The original was in french, and acting wasn't the greatest, but nor did it need to be. The story was great.

Luc Besson, is behind many movies. Writing, directing, or producing. Not just the ones mentioned above.
How about: Transporter I & II, Kiss of the Dragon (Jet Li), Unleashed (Jet Li), The Messenger (The Story of Joan of Arc), Fifth Element, Taxi (Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah) Recognize the movies? Thought you would. Heh! Just useless info from me. If you haven't seen Léon (The Professional) and La Femme Nikita, I suggest you rent and watch them. They aren't too shabby.
Deviant @ 4:38 AM ..0 comments

Alive - Raiko (Naruto Season 4 Closing Theme)

With Valentines Day, winding down to an end. I turn to my mp3 player, and listen to "Alive by Raiko". The first verse translates to:

• Everyone makes mistakes at times
  It's not something embarrassing
  Don't waste these scars
  Keep on going laughing, and it'll all be good

It's songs like this, that make life more bareable. It helps makes those days, when the sky is gray, and the world is cold somehow disappear for the few minutes the song is playing. Anyway, try to look toward the sky, looking down will only get you there faster.
Song lyrics can be found Here in English & Romaji. In case you want to sing along. Hehe.
I also found a link, that has the actual video openings & endings. Which are from the anime "Naruto", where I first heard the songs. Here. This song is Naruto's 4th season closing theme. Deviant @ 3:41 AM ..0 comments
Tuesday, February 14, 2006

CJ: Creative Junction

Creative Junction was started as a school project. This project was a class assignment given to my girlfriend, "Christine J." The project was to use your initials to come up with a (fake) company name. Then to design a identity system for it. (eg: business card, letterhead, logo, envelope, etc) I have to be honest. I wasn't quite sure about "Creative Junction" when it first rolled off my tongue. But, sure enough, it grew on me. Now I like it more than my own company name of: "Darklotus Designs" funny huh?
I decided to re-design or illustrate, my version of it. I used something she had in her original concept. A butterfly. To me it symbolizes her, the word "free", and "creative". I think it's a great name, and great idea. Below is my latest revision. (I apologize for my pic being dark, not in the greatest of moods, these days.)





Deviant @ 9:45 AM ..0 comments
Sunday, February 12, 2006

Update: New Random Banner Images

Deviant @ 6:19 PM ..0 comments
Friday, February 10, 2006

Quote Me!

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Deviant @ 2:44 AM ..0 comments
Wednesday, February 08, 2006

SR-71 - Goodbye (Naruto AMV)

Deviant @ 2:11 PM ..0 comments
Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Jetsons: Rosey the Robot

Deviant @ 10:50 PM ..0 comments

Update: Random Banner

Tonight, I was able to implement a script that, changes my banner image, upon the reloading of the page. A simple as it might sound, this was a task that took some time, to get right. Needless to say I am quite happy, with this issue now out of the way. Next is probably a color scheme change. The current scheme is a bit glum, and gloomy. Don't you think? I don't know how much work I'll be able to get done this week. I have a pretty busy schedule. Which includes: Funeral detail on Friday. MOUT training on Sat. & Sun. Deviant @ 10:18 PM ..0 comments

Random Banners

Deviant @ 9:28 PM ..0 comments
Friday, February 03, 2006

apathy: Temporary Banner Images

I'm working on banner images for my blog. My goal is to display a random header image, for each time a user views the blog. I am searching for a script that will work for my needs. Below was the 1st temporary header image, I created. Unfortunately, the dimensions were a bit off. The current header image you see, is also a temp. image. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment under this post. A new color scheme is also in the works. Perhaps something lighter.
Deviant @ 5:16 AM ..0 comments

The Used - Pieces Mended

Being faced with what I'm faced with I feel
Like I can't rock
Like a rock hit my heart
Started to chain the day
And exploded into pieces

Marry me
Stay the same
Lie to me and try to say you never will

Marry me
Stay the same
Lie to me and try to tell me

I've got a feeling in my gut now fills me
With so much hope
Said "fuck it" I'm fine
Dine and dashed
The pianist peddled into morning
(scream)
Morning

(scream)
Marry me
Stay the same
Lie to me and try to say you never will

Marry me
Stay the same
Lie to me and try to say you NEVER
MORNING, MORNING, MORNING, MORNING

Being faced with what I'm faced with I feel
Like I can't rock
Like a rock hit my heart
Started to chain the day
And exploded into pieces

Pieces, Pieces, Pieces, PIECES, PIECES, PIECES, PIECES, P I E C E S

Being faced with what I'm faced with I feel
Like I can't rock
Like a rock hit my heart
Started to chain the day
And exploded into pieces Deviant @ 12:24 AM ..0 comments
Thursday, February 02, 2006

A brief look at love through the eyes of a few.

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.
Anais Nin (1903 - 1977)

When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
Maurice Maeterlinck (1862 - 1949)

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
Jeanne Moreau

When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully.
W. Somerset Maugham

As the 14th, gets closer and closer, it is hard not to think about our loved ones. With each passing day try to remember to say something "nice" or "endearing" to that loved one. You might read this, and laugh. For those of us who have lost someone, or realised the errors in our ways, we know how important it is. You never know when that loved one, is no longer there for you to love. There are a million things I wish I could take back, but the one I would trade my life for. Would be the ability to show love to someone, who deserved that tiny courtesy. Do me a favor this coming holiday. Show someone you care about, that you love them. Not by buying their love. Not by just saying it. Show Them. If you don't know how, don't worry your heart will tell you! Deviant @ 11:09 PM ..0 comments

*Update: Structure?

Well, today I decided that my site needed to be a little bit more me. (whatever that means). Anyway, I am going to start by re-structuring my site. If you have been here before, you might or might not notice the 3rd column on the left side of the page. This section will feature: [Updates], which will be completed or pending additions/changes I plan on making to my blog. [Words of the week], this section contains words, I have looked up or words I feel people should know. [Songs of the week], this section will list a song(s), that I have listened during the current week. [Recently seen movies], I don't go to the movies alot (not that I'm a hermit, but $7.50 for a movie, is a bit much.) So I watch movies at home. I have just recently discovered IFC. (International Film Channel), they host all types of movies. Classics like: "Massuer Ichi" Series (Zatoichi) to Indie films like: "Rabbit-Proof Fence".
I will also try to keep post titles a bit more descriptive. NOTE: I said, I will Try. Try being the key word there. hehe.
I have placed a temporary banner image on the blog. I have not been able to think of anything fitting yet. (Suggestions anyone?) I have also renamed the blog to "apathy", I think it is more fitting than the previous "Darklotus". I however could not use the url: http://apathy.blogspot.com/ as it would not let me choose it. I will see if they will allow me to switch to that url. It has not been used since 2001, it seems anyway. Deviant @ 10:26 PM ..0 comments
Monday, January 30, 2006

intentionally left blank: Assignment #7

intentionally left blank: Assignment #7 Deviant @ 12:41 PM ..0 comments
Sunday, January 29, 2006

The weirdest thing.

*previous post Retracted. Deviant @ 8:07 AM ..0 comments
Thursday, January 26, 2006

Delineation of Deviant.... (Pay Attention!)

Aries is the first Sign of the Zodiac, and that's pretty much how those born under this Sign see themselves: first. Aries are the leaders of the pack, first in line to get things going. Whether or not everything gets done is another question altogether, for an Aries prefers to initiate rather than to complete. Do you have a project needing a kick-start? Call an Aries, by all means. The leadership displayed by Aries is most impressive, so don't be surprised if they can rally the troops against seemingly insurmountable odds -- they have that kind of personal magnetism. An Aries won't shy away from new ground, either. Those born under this Sign are often called the pioneers of the Zodiac, and it's their fearless trek into the unknown that often wins the day. Aries is a bundle of energy and dynamism, kind of like a Pied Piper, leading people along with its charm and charisma. The dawning of a new day -- and all of its possibilities -- is pure bliss to an Aries.

The symbol of Aries is the Ram, and that's both good and bad news. Impulsive Aries might be tempted to ram their ideas down everyone's throats without even bothering to ask if they want to know. It's these times when you may wish Aries's Sign's symbol were a more subdued creature, more lamb than ram perhaps. You're not likely to convince the Ram to soften up; these folks are blunt and to the point. Along with those qualities comes the sheer force of the Aries nature, a force that can actually accomplish a great deal. Much of Aries's drive to compete and to win comes from its Cardinal Quality. Cardinal Signs love to get things going, and Aries exemplifies this even better than Cancer, Libra or Capricorn.

Aries are ruled by the Planet Mars. Taking a peek at Roman mythology, we find that Mars was the God of War. Our man Mars was unafraid to do battle, and much the same can be said for Aries. These folks are bold, aggressive and courageous. They can summon up the inner strength required to take on most anyone, and they'll probably win. Aries do not lack energy or vitality, and they can stay in the game longer than most anyone else. Now that's a winning edge. Rams are also, for the most part, independent and well aware of their own interests in a given situation. This sometimes myopic view may not be for everyone, but it does help Aries get things going. Further, their competitive natures ensure that they will play the game with zeal and vigor. At times, their approach may be construed as arrogant and domineering, but it takes a lot of focus to be a leader (or so an Aries would say). Sadly, the Aries won't usually be around for the final victory (defeat? never). These folks will more than likely have bolted to the next project before the first one is done.

The Element associated with Aries is Fire. Think action, enthusiasm and a burning desire to play the game. Aries love physicality, so they won't sit on the sidelines for long, if at all. They'll jump into the fray full force and will contribute much in the process. Talk about eager beavers! Sure, some of their decisions may later prove to have been hasty, but you'll never find an Aries who regretted taking a shot.

Making things happen is what it's all about to these folks. Aries are also unafraid of stepping onto new terrain. The challenge inherent in taking on the unknown is heaven on Earth for Rams. Sure, they may appear arrogant when they take on the world, but they'll be quick to tell you it's the only way to go. While a common Aries refrain might well be 'me first,' there's no point in arguing with them since, in their minds, they are first. Is this unbridled ego? Maybe, but that might be what it takes to blaze a new trail. Oh, and on the subject of arguing, it's the Ram who will have the last word, so save your breath.

Aries seem to play as hard as they work. These folks are happiest in a spirited soccer match or engaging in the martial arts. In the game of love, the Ram's ardor is unquestioned, although Aries can also be playful and romantic with their mate. With Aries ruling the head, face and brain, those born under this Sign need to be on the lookout for headaches and are well-served to take the occasional deep breath. The Ram's color is bright red, a sure sign of the fire that breathes within.

The great strength of the Aries-born is in their initiative, courage and determination. These folks love to get things going and are fearless along the way. Their dynamism and competitive spirit add considerably any of their endeavors. Deviant @ 8:26 AM ..0 comments

Asian Kung Fu Generation - "Haruka Kanata" (Far-off Distance)

Fumikomu ze akuseru kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo
Yoru wo nukeru
Nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo
Hibi wo kezuru

• Hit the gas! There's no need to finagle, oh yeah!
• We'll go all through the night.
• I'll complain at the end, the balance is zero, oh yeah!
• We'll whittle the days away...

Kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara
Todoku yo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa

• When you open your heart a little, and pull someone close to you,
• Your feelings will surely reach them deeper, yeah...

Iki isoide shiboritotte
Motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tooku he
Ubaitotte tsukandatte
Kimi janai nara imi wa nai no sa

• Hurry it up! Wring it out!
• Though my legs are all tangled, they will surely take me far...
• Even if I steal it and manage to grasp it,
• If it isn't you, then what's the point?

Dakara motto motto motto haruka kanata

• So I'll go further and further away!

Fumikomu ze akuseru kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo
Yoru wo nukeru
Nejikomu sa saigo ni sashihiki zero sa sou dayo
Hibi wo kezuru

• Hit the gas! There's no need to finagle, oh yeah!
• We'll go all through the night.
• I'll complain at the end, the balance is zero, oh yeah!
• We'll whittle the days away...

Kokoro wo sotto hiraite gyutto hiki yosetara
Todoku yo kitto tsutau yo motto sa aa

• When you open your heart a little, and pull someone close to you,
• Your feelings will surely reach them deeper, yeah...

Iki isoide shiboritotte
Motsureru ashi dakedo mae yori zutto sou tooku he
Ubaitotte tsukandatte
Kimi janai nara imi wa nai no sa

• Hurry it up! Wring it out!
• Though my legs are all tangled, they will surely take me far...
• Even if I steal it and manage to grasp it,
• If it isn't you, then what's the point?

Dakara haruka kanata

• So I'll go far into the distance...

Itsuwaru koto ni nareta kimi no sekai wo
Nuritsubusu no sa shiroku shirou

• Your world will become a thing of deceit
• painted all in white...

Deviant @ 7:42 AM ..0 comments

Quote Me!

"Curiosity can kill, I suppose... but apathy is lethal."

-Unknown

Deviant @ 1:56 AM ..0 comments
Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Stoic : n : one who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain. [syn: unemotional person]

Deviant @ 10:56 PM ..0 comments

Quote Me!

Deviant @ 10:48 PM ..0 comments
Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Another Random Image

Image I scrapped after further review.
Deviant @ 3:57 AM ..0 comments
Friday, January 20, 2006

::yawn::

G'mornin world. I'm signing out for a few hours.
Movies watched while awake:

• Leaving Las Vegas
• The King Is Alive
• Highlander: The Final Dimension
• Mac and Me
• Nell
• High Plains Drifter
• Little Cigars
• Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
• My Boss's Wife
• Mighty Celt
  

Deviant @ 10:18 AM ..0 comments

Apery : n : the act of mimicking; imitative behavior [syn: mimicry]

I put this together while waiting for the call, I mentioned below.
It's simple and I like it. It's a much simpler form, than what was produced earlier.
The term APERY refers to the post that almost was. (ref: see below) Deviant @ 10:09 AM ..1 comments

CRY HAVOC! And let loose the dogs of war!

Words cannot express how extremely enraged I am at this moment. Picture this! It's about 6:30AM, you have been up all night waiting for a phone call. That for some reason, you know will never come. So, before you go to sleep, you decide to post something that has been sitting heavy on your chest. Self actualization, an epiphany, or whatever your word for it is. You are in such deep thought that a hour and half flies by, like nothing. You finally decide you've written enough for now. So you get ready to hit the post button, only to find out that IE... Microsluts Internet Exploder. Just froze and you can't recover any of the last hour and a halfs work. It's all lost. YEAH! (Expletive Deleted) LOST! I then spent the next few hours trying to recover or at least take a screenshot of what spilled out of my fingertips like blood. I can't believe it, I finally write something deep, and was able to let it out and then BAM! (Sorry Emeril, I didn't mean to steal your line.) Apparently, it wasn't meant to be read right? I mean, why else would it of happened? I don't think I'll ever be able to re-phrase what I wrote. Hell, I'm so upset and tired, I can't remember it. I'll guess on another night, when I'm in a shitty mood, something similiar might trickle its way to my fingers again. Until then, everyone will have to wait. Because right now, I'm too (Expletive Deleted) tired. Deviant @ 10:00 AM ..0 comments

.apathy. version 1.2

These two images, are concepts I had for a website entrance. The website I designed them for would be called apathy. Whether or not I'll be able to successfully be able to put a site together? Who knows? I will continue posting current workings here till then.

Deviant @ 3:07 AM ..0 comments
Thursday, January 12, 2006

Who I am hates, who I've been.

Deviant @ 5:32 AM ..0 comments
Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Bored with brushes..

This is a wallpaper I created to test some photoshop brushes. It wasn't meant to become a wallpaper, originally it was just a blank scrap canvas. It somehow came together and had a few people ask me for a copy to use as their wallpaper. Funny, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Deviant @ 2:06 PM ..0 comments

Who I am hates, who I've been...

Music is such an amazing tool. It is possible to find a song that conveys every emotion, every message, every thought, everything that is so hard to express or say. It's not that I just figured this out, it's just that right now, right this very second you're reading this. I'm listening to a song that conveys a message, a message that has lost its voice. I have a cut so deep in my heart, that it doesn't bleed. I thought I'd be fine, pretending everything was alright. Who would've known I was wrong, and that I'd force myself into a elevated level of cardiac arrest. I can feel my brain hemorrhaging, the blood vessels in my eyelids are constricting, and I can't seem to get a grasp on whats going on. How much longer can I take this? How much longer must I feel this pain? How do I bring back to life my heart? All my efforts have only seemed to submerge me deeper into an abyss. All I see is darkness, as if I've lost my eyes or my way. With no guide, will I remain lost, forever? Deviant @ 1:36 PM ..0 comments
Monday, January 09, 2006

An old webpage entrance design I scrapped. I found it while clearing out HD space. This was my first attempt at a grunge look. For some reason I still like this image. If and when I decide to do another webpage I might do a similiar entrance page. Deviant @ 7:50 PM ..0 comments

This is a picture of Shizume, from an anime series called Naruto. I skecthed this image, shortly after getting off the phone with someone who is very close to what little heart I have left. Deviant @ 7:42 PM ..0 comments

. Deviant @ 7:31 PM ..0 comments

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." -Jules (Pulp Fiction)